Friday, September 21, 2007

One Year: September 22 to September 22 - Part 2

This post will consist of entries from my journal about my time seeing an RE...

...June 8, 06

I am counting down the days until I have my appointment with the RE. As of today I have 20 days. The appointment is on June 28th. I have extreamly high expectations for this RE so he better come out on top. I am nervous though, I fear that after this initial visit (which I believe includes lots of bloodwork, an internal ultrasound, and a general exam) the RE will want me to have a lap first thing. I'm not scared of surgery but I hate the feeling of the IV fluid dripping in my veins. It's cold. It feels as if someone is taking ice and slowly running it up the inside of my veins, ultimatly wrapping it around the pit of my stomach. Not that it makes me cold, it is more of a creepy feeling with waves of nausea coursing through me; all from the cold IV fluid dripping. The oxygen mask that they put on you doesn't help. Along with the cold running through my veins I get blasted with air that is just not natural; it is not natural to have pure O2 forced on you.

...June 20, 06

Today I felt the need to play hookie from work. I am getting somewhat stressed thinking about my first visit to the RE (the countdown continues and I only have 8 days) so I took a day off work to have time for me. I have been doing lots of yard work lately so I took pictures of my efforts. This pink lilly is almost as tall as me. I stand about 5'3" and if I stand next to the flower they are at eye level. So I'm guessing about 5' tall. Back to the baby making. I am currently on cycle day 88. I am not ovulating and I am gaining weight like a sumo wresler. In the last 88 days I have put on about 25 pounds. That is with watching what I eat and G and I going out and buying bikes (and riding them quite a bit I might add), plus we have a membership to the gym that we use a couple times a week. The only thing that I can think of is PCOS. If I have this it would account for the weight gain with a really hard time losing it. It would also account for the hairs that have just recently sprouted on my upper lip that I have to pluck every other day. I'm not positive but I think that the RE will be able to tell without too much hassle. I am already getting the internal ulta sound (or going for a ride on the dildo cam) and blood work when I go and I think they will be able to tell from those two things. Ok, time for more fruits of my labor. I have no idea what this flower is. I know that you can eat it because the man at the nursery told me so. He said many people have them in their herb gardens. I got it because it was interesting and it drapes over the edge of the planter box. I am still not brave enough to pull one off and eat it.

...June 25, 06

Seeing an RE reminds me of a dating service for sperm and eggs. You go in both are evaluated and then you try to match them up. You try different combinations and when you get a match is when you end up with a baby.

...August 4, 06

On Wed. we met with the RE and he told us all of our options. Right now I have only one good tube and I am not O'ing. Plus the endo is getting worse (possible cause for the blocked tube). We can:

1) take clomid w/ trigger and a double IUI. To do this I will have to take provera again to make AF come for a visit. If I start provera on mon. I will probable get AF around the 19 th of Aug. I would have baseline u/s on Mon. the 21st. and take the clomid from cd 5-9. Then I would have another u/s approx on the 31st. Then the trigger shot maybe on Sept. 1st. I would get an IUI 12 hrs and 36 hrs from the trigger so sept 2nd and 3rd. Then I would have to wait 14 days for the beta so approx the 17th of September I would find out if the IUI worked or not. ---- I do have to consider that if I end up O'ing on the wrong side then they will cancel the cycle. (I will explain below why this would be bad)

or 2)I can have a lap done. They would give me provera again starting on monday the 7th and I would get AF approx on the 19th. The RE would do the surgery on a Friday so the 25th of Aug. I would spend the rest of cycle healing so that brings us to mid Sept. (If I choose this option I will not be able to "try" for 6 months)

Ok, here is the reason I am having a hard time deciding. DH finally got a call from the IRS. They are done with his background investigation and they have scheduled him for his medical evaluation this coming wed. This is the last thing that they need to do before his training is scheduled. So we are guessing that training will begin in October since this was mentioned in previous documents sent to us. DH's training is 6 months out of state. Do I take one chance on clomid and IUI's or surgery and no chances of trying? I know that the first 6 - 12 months after surgery to clean up endo is the best time to get pg. If I do the clomid now and then he goes off to training I could have the surgery a couple of months before he comes home and then we could "try" with a clean slate. But there is a HUGE possibility that as soon as he comes home from training we will be relocated and I would have to find a new RE.

Oh, I am soo confused. I really need opinions of others because I keep crying trying to decide what to do. Maybe I am missing something because I am soo emotional.

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